Thank you ... for EVERYTHING

I wrote this as a spontaneous Facebook post, and it seemed to affect so many people that I decided to share it as a blog ...

In 2012 I asked my mentor how to manage a continuing difficult situation involving another person. She told me to say "thank you" whenever I felt challenged - the greater the difficulty, the more important it was to say "thank you" (just silently).

Despite her suggestion, this didn't happen for a long time. To me, it was like slamming your fingers in the car door and then bowing your head in gratitude. It seemed incongruent to say the least and every time the particular situation arose, the LAST thing I would say was "thank you". In fact, I would forget about that suggestion until much later and when I would remember, I would shake my head at the notion and think "that is simply not possible right now".

Eventually however, I started occasionally remembering her suggestion closer to the moment but still felt incapable of acting on it. In the past few months I have sometimes remembered AND acted on it by saying a silent thanks (through gritted teeth) WHILE I was feeling challenged (not all the time, mind you - we're talking baby steps) and without even really knowing it, I started to say a silent "thank you" for so many other things throughout the day. It was like once I could start saying thank you for the things that hurt, angered or saddened me, even occasionally, I automatically started saying 'thank you' for the things I have taken for granted all my life - clean air, clean water, shelter, safety, food etc.

Today I've been surveying the landscape of my life and taking inventory and looking at the road ahead and I noticed that the general feeling of life has shifted in the past 6 months. I was wondering whether there was a reason for that (looking for things to model). I couldn't pinpoint anything in particular and then it suddenly dawned on me that the only thing that's changed is that I have become really mindful about gratitude for the good, the bad and the ugly. I just realised that since receiving the suggestion to get grateful when things are tough and now, it's started to become part of my identity. And I have been feeling supported and guided in a way that I cannot describe for some time now.

I didn't give thanks because I was expecting something in return but right at this moment, the link between the degree of awesomeness I experience in my life and my growing ability to not just say but actually FEEL grateful when things are not very awesome, is crystal clear.

I have been extremely fortunate to have some incredible, amazing, extraordinary teachers in my life and this is one of the most liberating bits of guidance I have ever received. The fact that it has taken me nearly a year to even start putting into practice empowers the wisdom even more so. This is the greatest and most powerful lesson I have ever received. Please try it ... even if it takes you a year to remember ... the next time you encounter something that feels 'not ideal' on any level, give thanks. Even if it feels completely at odds with how you are feeling and even if you all you want to do is bang your head into a wall ... say 'thank you'. Eventually, you won't just say it, you will feel it too.

Just writing about this has got me feeling all gooey and thankful again. Right at this moment, even my cells feel happy and buzzing. This is good stuff!  


p.s. After writing this post on Facebook, I received the following beautiful response from a friend by private message. I am sharing it here, with his permission, because it is so powerfully, simply but elegantly worded that I think it might bring great value to many. 

I saw your post... in my situations I try to always think of this...

Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is at this moment.

I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

Acceptance has taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we each have a right to be here.

When I focus on what's good today, I have a good day, and when I focus on what's bad, I have a bad day. If I focus on a problem, the problem increases; if I focus on the answer, the answer increases. When I focus on people's bad qualities, they multiply; when I focus on people's good qualities, they seem to grow and grow.

Perhaps the best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations of other people are, the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations. I have to discard my 'rights', as well as my expectations, by asking myself, "How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety?"

I do whatever is in front of me to be done, and let go of the results.

I must keep my magic magnifying mind on my level of acceptance. When I remember this, I can see I've never had it so good.