The 4 Reasons We Don't Make Decisions (and the critical illusion that incapacitates us) - Part 2 of 4 in the Decision Making Model

Our lives are in constant motion, a continual evolution shaped by the seen and the unseen. There are greater forces at play that are working behind the scenes and there is also our own Free Will to decide and choose where we are going.

There are times in our lives (most of the time, in fact) when we live our lives unconsciously, making decisions moment to moment, without any real awareness or intent. There are other times in our lives when we are called upon to consciously make a decision - when we are unhappy in a job or a relationship or a situation and we are being called to STEP UP and grow. So, why - even when we are suffering - do we not make a decision? There are 4 reasons:

1. FEAR 
Fear is the #1 reason why people don't make decisions - fear of failing, fear they aren't good enough or fear of making the wrong decision. When people are afraid about making the wrong decision they often make no decision at all, preferring to stagnate in the current situation than 'be wrong'. You will never learn anything or grow by sitting on a fence. Stop being fearful. Stop worrying about failure. The only failure is the failure to decide.

2. UNCERTAINTY 
People have an illusion that they must wait for absolute certainty before they can make a decision. The truth is that you have to make decisions based on the greatest probability. If you wait for absolute certainty you might never get it. Even if you feel certainty about a situation in one moment, you can doubt that certainty in the next. Absolute certainty is an absolute myth.

The greater uncertainty is driven by lack of clarity about what we really want and why. Until you know what it is you want and - more importantly - WHY you want it (how it's going to make you feel, what will it give you, what will it give the people around you, how will you show up differently when you achieve this outcome), how can you possibly make a decision with any kind of certainty that it's the 'right' decision? How can you possibly know that it will take you where you want to go if you haven't first gotten clear on the destination?

3. OVERWHELM
Overwhelm often comes from not knowing where to start - from having so many things coming at us all at once that it just seems like an avalanche of 'to dos'. The person who is starting up their own business and has so many different tasks to manage, they don't know where to begin and so, they end up doing nothing at all. Suddenly, cleaning the house becomes more important than working on the business. A year goes by and they are still not getting out there and spreading their message because the website's not perfect, the business cards don't like quite right, the message isn't refined enough, they don't know how to market their offerings. They feel overwhelmed and they end up in "a log jam of nothingness".

The second reason why people feel overwhelmed is they have conflicting outcomes - they want to make $1 million dollars but they also want to sleep until noon; they want to be completely available to their partner but they also want to work 18 hours a day; they want to experience total health, wellness and vitality but they reach for chocolate and coffee when the 3pm afternoon slump hits and they justify not exercising because they "don't have time".

In the 4th part of this series, we will break down the 6-step Decision Making Model so you can see how to resolve conflicts and overwhelm.

4. WEAK DECISION-MAKING MUSCLES
The more decisions you make, the easier it becomes to make decisions in the face of fear, uncertainty and overwhelm. Its that simple. If you want to get better at decision making, make more decisions. Find that part of you that is DECISIVE and put them in the Driver's Seat of your Life. Let the wishy-washy, someone-else-can-decide part of you have a holiday.

In Part 3 of the 4-part Decision Making Model series, we'll look at the 4 things you MUST do in any kind of a 'crisis' or when an immediate 'problem' arises.

The 3 Decisions You Are Making Every Moment that are either Sabotaging you or Empowering You (Part 1 of 4 in the Decision Making Model)

In the past week, I've had 3 clients ask me about effective decision-making. In his 'Time Of Your Life' program (one of the most fundamental, game-changing MUST DO programs in creation), Tony Robbins teaches us a 6-step decision making system that can be used in any situation, from the simplest to the most complex. Here is the first of a four part series to take you through the critical importance of decision-making.

We are constantly making decisions - from the simplest decision of what to have for breakfast to the more complex decisions when we are at crossroads in our life. At any given moment, there are 3 things we are always deciding:

1. What to focus on
Once we decide (consciously or unconsciously) what to focus on, we then decide:

2. What does it mean?
Once we assign it meaning (consciously or unconsciously), the 3rd decision we make is:

3. What am I going to do about it?

As an example - lets say you've made a dinner reservation at 7pm for you and your spouse. You arrive on time. At 7.15, your spouse has not shown up. At this point, you are making a decision to focus on your spouse being late. Now, you might either start thinking "I can't believe he's done it again. He is always late. He doesn't respect me at all. I'm sick of this!" or you might be thinking, "I hope he's okay. I hope he hasn't been in an accident. Its raining outside and the roads are wet. Oh no, what if he's hurt?" In both of those cases, you are assigning a particular meaning to your spouse being late. At 7.30pm, he arrives. He's been stuck in traffic and his phone battery died so he couldn't reach out to you. Depending on what meaning you had assigned to his lateness, you may either decide to launch an attack at him or you might throw your arms around and tell him how much you love him. Whatever meaning you have assigned to his lateness will produce both an emotion and an action. He hasn't 'made' you feel anything by being late. His lateness is nothing more than a mere observable fact. You decide what it means, you decide how you are going to feel about it, and you decide what to do next. Over time, these small decisions direct and shape your life.

You MUST understand the incredible power of your decisions. You MUST understand the snowball effect that these 3 moment-to-moment decisions have over time. Changing your life comes from making a decision, conscious or unconscious. Your life is in constant motion and is constantly evolving, moment to moment.

DECIDE what to focus on. Fear or Desire. Anger or Love. Helplessness or Power. That choice alone will direct your life and will shape your destiny. Stop believing your life is the effect of some external factor - a person, place, event or situation.  It isn't.

People say they don't have choice but we DO - it is, in fact, the only thing we do have. We have the choice about what we focus on, what we make it mean, and how we respond. If you don't like something that is going on in your life, change it. You are not a tree. You can move - move your focus, move your meaning, move your action. Create the change you want to see. Make a decision and just do it. Easier said than done, you might be thinking ...

In Part 2 of this series, we will explore the 4 reasons why people don't make decisions and the critical illusion that can paralyse and prevent us from moving forward.